What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
10.06.2025 11:07
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Make Nazis afraid again!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
TEXT:
What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!